Funny Text jokes/stories [stickie?]

howardmeis · 07-10-2005, 09:59 AM

Hey guys, post funny jokes/ joke links here. I'll start with this
http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/...tarcraft2.html.
It's some guy who reviewed SC and is FUNNY AS HELL!!!!
Actauly, the bottom isn't so funny. but the top part is. "Well now you can set your phasers for fun."

~*^CuLo^*~ · 07-10-2005, 10:02 AM

Lmao just wait till you see my clit.

howardmeis · 07-10-2005, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*^CuLo^*~

Lmao just wait till you see my clit.

Your clit is funny? Wait aren't you Agent god?

~*^CuLo^*~ · 07-10-2005, 10:24 AM

No ****er im not agent god

howardmeis · 07-10-2005, 10:38 AM

Well keep this on topic, and post a story or a joke.

~*^CuLo^*~ · 07-10-2005, 10:39 AM

Ok, im not racist but:

Q: How long does it take for a black women to take out the trash?

A: 9 Months.

GoSuSeKi · 07-10-2005, 10:42 AM

Q:Why are Ni ggers si tall?

A: Cuz their KNEE=GROWS(NEGROS??)

howardmeis · 07-10-2005, 11:39 AM

lol.

This ones a linguistics joke.

Q.) What do you call 4 Mexicans sinking in quick sand?
A.) Quatro sinko.

My uncles 1 liners.

Q.)Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A.)If they flew over te bay they'd be bagels.

Q.)You know how when ducks fly south how they make a V. Why is one side of the V always longer?
A.)Because theirs mor ducks on that side.

I got more, but I forgot most of them.

~*^CuLo^*~ · 07-10-2005, 12:17 PM

ur jokes suck!

guy476 · 07-10-2005, 12:33 PM

i second that......get some new jokes, and that link to that site is some of the dumbest writing ive ever seen. Only people with an IQ of 30 would find that funny.

your a huge ****ing suckup too nice sig.......

Game_Fixing · 07-10-2005, 12:42 PM

You post in a way that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. Your post is an orgy of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.

Trying to get something of value out of your post is like trying to squeeze orange juice out of an apple. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. If you knew what you're talking about, you'd be dangerous. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

If that post was intended as a joke, you forgot to include the punch line. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that your cereal bowl has its own lifeguard, or if you didn't have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated dump in a heat wave. Nah, of course you would.

In closing, I helpfully suggest that you support your local Search & Rescue Unit, and get lost.

no offence lol hope you enjoyed getting dissed

07-10-2005, 01:53 PM

Is it something like a... "why did batman climb the tree? to find robin's nest!" joke? I dont really find them to be hilarious, its kind of cute. "why did the bicycle lay against the wall? because its two tyred'... etc.

I have one joke : Define Men? A living creature to support the penis!
hahah...
err.. i can sense most guys feel its offensive... i apologise...

I'll very much prefer to attach comic strips, which i did in most of my replies on other topics. Therefore creating paper clip icons everywhere. I guess i have started disturbing the admins here already, haha.

Game_Fixing · 07-10-2005, 04:02 PM

lol my insult was better

Dr. Silence · 07-10-2005, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by howardmeis

lol.

This ones a linguistics joke.

Q.) What do you call 4 Mexicans sinking in quick sand?
A.) Quatro sinko.

My uncles 1 liners.

Q.)Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A.)If they flew over te bay they'd be bagels.

Q.)You know how when ducks fly south how they make a V. Why is one side of the V always longer?
A.)Because theirs mor ducks on that side.

I got more, but I forgot most of them.

Those jokes can make even a 6 year old look stupid......

Game_Fixing · 07-10-2005, 04:08 PM

hahahha those where the |s|t|u|p|i|d|e|s|t| things i ever heard is was so |r|e|t|a|r|d|e|d| i laughed at it hahahahahaha

dopesmoker · 07-10-2005, 04:25 PM

how do newfies have kids?

and you thought newfies were dumb

07-10-2005, 09:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
howardmeis Weiße Kraft Senior Member Messiah Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Chicago. ^.^ Posts: 8,143	Funny Text jokes/stories [stickie?] Hey guys, post funny jokes/ joke links here. I'll start with this http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/...tarcraft2.html. It's some guy who reviewed SC and is FUNNY AS HELL!!!! Actauly, the bottom isn't so funny. but the top part is. "Well now you can set your phasers for fun." __________________ I AM HOWARD. I MAKE YOUTUBE VIDEOS. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six. Last edited by howardmeis : 07-10-2005 at 11:41 AM.
$howardmeis 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 10:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
~^CuLo^~ Zealot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Moderator Posts: 958	Lmao just wait till you see my clit. __________________
$~^CuLo^~ 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 10:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
~^CuLo^~ Zealot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Moderator Posts: 958	No ****er im not agent god __________________
$~^CuLo^~ 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 10:38 AM	#5 (permalink)
howardmeis Weiße Kraft Senior Member Messiah Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Chicago. ^.^ Posts: 8,143	Well keep this on topic, and post a story or a joke. __________________ I AM HOWARD. I MAKE YOUTUBE VIDEOS. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.
$howardmeis 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 10:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
~^CuLo^~ Zealot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Moderator Posts: 958	Ok, im not racist but: Q: How long does it take for a black women to take out the trash? A: 9 Months. __________________
$~^CuLo^~ 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

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07-10-2005, 10:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
GoSuSeKi Advocate Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 350	Q:Why are Ni ggers si tall? A: Cuz their KNEE=GROWS(NEGROS??)
$GoSuSeKi 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 11:39 AM	#8 (permalink)
howardmeis Weiße Kraft Senior Member Messiah Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Chicago. ^.^ Posts: 8,143	lol. This ones a linguistics joke. Q.) What do you call 4 Mexicans sinking in quick sand? A.) Quatro sinko. My uncles 1 liners. Q.)Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A.)If they flew over te bay they'd be bagels. Q.)You know how when ducks fly south how they make a V. Why is one side of the V always longer? A.)Because theirs mor ducks on that side. I got more, but I forgot most of them. __________________ I AM HOWARD. I MAKE YOUTUBE VIDEOS. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.
$howardmeis 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 12:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
~^CuLo^~ Zealot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Moderator Posts: 958	ur jokes suck! __________________
$~^CuLo^~ 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 12:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
guy476 Crusader Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: in the western hemisphere Posts: 3,348	i second that......get some new jokes, and that link to that site is some of the dumbest writing ive ever seen. Only people with an IQ of 30 would find that funny. your a huge ***ing suckup too nice sig....... __________________ Last edited by guy476 : 07-10-2005 at 12:41 PM.*
$guy476 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 12:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
Game_Fixing Deviant Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: United States, WA Favorite Quote: A coward dies a thousand deaths; a brave man dies but once Posts: 94	You post in a way that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. Your post is an orgy of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency. Trying to get something of value out of your post is like trying to squeeze orange juice out of an apple. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. If you knew what you're talking about, you'd be dangerous. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live." If that post was intended as a joke, you forgot to include the punch line. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that your cereal bowl has its own lifeguard, or if you didn't have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated dump in a heat wave. Nah, of course you would. In closing, I helpfully suggest that you support your local Search & Rescue Unit, and get lost. no offence lol hope you enjoyed getting dissed Last edited by Game_Fixing : 07-10-2005 at 12:54 PM.
$Game_Fixing 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 01:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
Akazukin Guest Posts: n/a	haha rofl lol Is it something like a... "why did batman climb the tree? to find robin's nest!" joke? I dont really find them to be hilarious, its kind of cute. "why did the bicycle lay against the wall? because its two tyred'... etc. I have one joke : Define Men? A living creature to support the penis! hahah... err.. i can sense most guys feel its offensive... i apologise... I'll very much prefer to attach comic strips, which i did in most of my replies on other topics. Therefore creating paper clip icons everywhere. I guess i have started disturbing the admins here already, haha.

07-10-2005, 04:02 PM	#13 (permalink)
Game_Fixing Deviant Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: United States, WA Favorite Quote: A coward dies a thousand deaths; a brave man dies but once Posts: 94	lol my insult was better
$Game_Fixing 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 04:08 PM	#15 (permalink)
Game_Fixing Deviant Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: United States, WA Favorite Quote: A coward dies a thousand deaths; a brave man dies but once Posts: 94	hahahha those where the \|s\|t\|u\|p\|i\|d\|e\|s\|t\| things i ever heard is was so \|r\|e\|t\|a\|r\|d\|e\|d\| i laughed at it hahahahahaha
$Game_Fixing 15 0FF11\|\\|3$

07-10-2005, 04:25 PM	#16 (permalink)
dopesmoker smoker of dope Banned Crusader Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,667	how do newfies have kids? and you thought newfies were dumb
$dopesmoker 15 0FF11\|\\|3$